PANEL 1
ARKADY: WHEN I CAME OUT, MY MUM APPARENTLY SAID, “AH, A CHILD OF ARCADIA.”
ARKADY: SHE WAS REALLY, REALLY STONED. SO WAS MY DAD. SO THE BEST THEY COULD GET ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE WAS “ARKADY.”
ARKADY: I SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE GLAD THEY DIDN’T GIVE UP AND JUST WRITE “FRED” OR SOMETHING.

PANEL 2
CONNOR: I WENT AND FOUND MY REAL DAD, ONCE. BIOLOGICAL DAD.
CONNOR: HE SAID HE WANTED TO CALL ME PETER, AFTER HIS DAD, BUT AFTER MUM TWATTED HIM WITH THE FRYING PAN HE FIGURED HE WAS BETTER OFF WELL OUT OF IT.

PANEL 3
ARKADY: YOUR MUM ALWAYS FRIGHTENED ME A LITTLE.
CONNOR: SHE FRIGHTENED EVERYONE. EVERY SIX MONTHS A BOYFRIEND WOULD LEAVE THE HOUSE WITH A BIN BAG FULL OF CLOTHES AND BITS OF FACE MISSING.

PANEL 4
KAIT: YOUR MUM WAS A CRIMINAL.
CONNOR: YOU THINK EVERYONE’S A CRIMINAL.
KAIT: SHE SOLD DRUGS. I USED TO SEE HER IN THE CAR PARK OF A FRIDAY NIGHT, DEALING OUT OF THAT SHIT-COLOURED HONDA SHE DROVE.